A Long Journey to Hawaii, USA

It was my first time traveling abroad, my first time attending an academic conference, and my first time having a paper accepted in a CCF-B conference. Sitting tens of thousands of feet above the Pacific Ocean, I wanted to sleep but couldn’t bring myself to. Inside, I was filled with excitement and nervousness.

After going through all the procedures, I felt like a naive outsider, finally trying to do things on my own. On the last day, I struggled to decide which taxi to take, and I even got blocked by Uber. Fortunately, with the help of my roommate, I managed to take a taxi from the hotel and headed to Honolulu Airport to catch my flight back home.

Although it was a short trip, it made me realize something I had always felt—it’s only by interacting with people my own age that I can truly understand my own issues. My social anxiety was broken by many opportunities during this trip.

I feel like I’ve found a way to loosen up my rigid thinking. The more I reflect, the more exhausted I become. A bit of alcohol helps me feel liberated, and a brief escape is always good. Over time, I’m learning to find inner peace.

I’ve always felt well taken care of, especially during my master’s years. During my PhD, it seemed like I had to rely on myself for everything—accumulating experience, learning in Shanghai, going to the US, and handling so many things. Over time, it has become clearer that I’m not afraid of challenges, though I’ve become less reckless and more rational.

The warmth from my master’s days still comforts me.

This year has been very pleasant and joyful, filled with many insights. Now, it’s time to aim for even greater things.